Why do I get a rush from writing, photography and traveling? It's the kind of rush that simply never goes away. Like an old flame that never dies out. Like a little kid who receives lollipops. Like a girl having intense crush for a guy at the corner of that table.
It just sits there and refuses to go away. It gives me jitters, it gives me happiness, it gives me another reason to look forward to. That sense of joy and excitement I get whenever my mind starts slipping away and decides to churn out stories and possibilities. Oh, the delight I get from feeling this. The smile that runs through one side of my face to another.
I swear it's like falling in love.
I suppose you can say that. That I am falling in love. Falling in love with life. With the unknown. With the journey I will be embarking in whatever way I direct myself (and He decides the outcome).
Ah, I'm going bonkers. I'm just being me. That girl who takes life by the bull's horns.
I love writing, I may not be the world's best writer but I love the fact that my fingers have their own set of mind, soul and heart. All they do once the keyboard is laid upon them is coming out with their own characters, stories, plots, drama, climax..you name it! I have no clue what it'll be about and I'm just as surprised as any of the (if there's any) readers out there because I really don't know what goes on where.
For instance, this very moment. I have no idea what this entry is about, where it leads to or how it will be concluded. All I know is, once the mood is set, the idea is flowed would I then only know what is going on, what I truly want to say subconsciously.
It's like there's two separate individuals residing in me and both have no clue what the other wants. Maybe they do, maybe they secretly have an idea or feel but neither wants to reveal it out in the open until the moment is right.
Don't I sound like a nut as it is already?
I don't know. I really don't know. All I know is my mind constantly comes up with things. Of course 99.7% of the time stays in my mind only.
I love to write. I love the creative writing process. What on earth am doing not doing exactly that in real life? No freaking idea.
Months ago, apparently things were against my universe but when that happened, I find other outlets to do it. Does not mean the British government retracted the course I was sooooooo close signing up to or that the local government here decided to freeze the loan indefinitely (all coming at the same time..gotta wonder, there's must be a damn good reason for these to happen).. everything is being put to halt. Being the restless person that I am and the occasional visits I get from the muse pushes me to pen down the thoughts and whatever nonsensical ideas I have. Perhaps I am working on something, or maybe a lot of things at the same time..simply write where the fingers want to take me.
Just because one thing (or many things) didn't go according to plan, the concept has to be let go. It just means there are other ways to go about it. It's a matter of how bad we want it. I don't know if I'll ever finish my stories, or if it'll ever have endings/closure but I'm working on it. I like the journey. Takes me away, makes me feel as if I am able to fly to the distance, to go to places I wish I have the power to teleport. The magic of..art, it knows no boundaries.
How did I get to this? Why did I suddenly write about it, describing things into further details? Maybe because while having a much needed lunch with a teammate, it occur to me where my passion truly lies. The discussion we had fired up and since then, it's like an awakening.
Oh god.
And like everything that happens in my life, I don't know how or where this will go. However, I have faith that I'll rock it out, doing it the way I know best and have fun with it. That much I know.